Hello, so i am here, in Science. Which is the 2nd last period of the school. Im feeling so tired. It has been like this for a week. Probably is because of the lond weekend. My sleeping has been stuffed up. During long weekend, i sleep at 3 or 4 pretty much eveyday. So now im just like pretty screwed.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Today's my birthday, it dsnt feel like my birthday at all.
Last night. i was so upset. My heart hurted so so much. I wanted to go to Sarah's room to tell her whats wrong. But then i was feeling too sick to get there.
My eye was filled with water and my heart was just hurting so much that I could not breath at all. Then I told Yik whats wrong on facebook. He didn’t replied for like half an hour or 10 mins or so. Then I just keep on crying myself. Listening to the songs that Kaito gave me when we were still together. Im so hurt. Knowing that I am not good enuf to match up to him and having him to compaire me with the others.
After crying myself for awhile, Yik replied to my msg. He started to comfort me about it, and I started to get better as well. We didn’t slept the whole night. We talked from 3 I think? Until 5 oclock he lieave his house to come over to see me. He said his just coming for saying hi. But, he end up comforting me and talking me thru things.he told me its not worth it to be sad of. And it was really stupid of me crying infront of a guy that I first meet that day. Its just so retarded. But for a guy like him, I feel his warmness. When I was tired he asked if I would like to have a rest on his shoulder. I said no for the first few times. Afterwards, the sun was killing my yees, so I deceided to ly down on the bench, then I accidently hitted my head. So I said “ouch” like normal people would. Then he checked on me as am I okay. I said I was fine, the he told me to rest on his lap. And his fine with it, I said no, but afterwards, I end up resting on his lap. I told him that his lap is so uncomfy and stuff. But the truth is that it is pretty comfy and I actually feel aslp on it. He was sweet. He blocked the sun out for me with his hand. I was breathing abit heavily, because I found it abit hard to breath, cuz. Inside im missing Kaito so much. Then he tot I was crying, he said don’t cry and I said im not crying, I was just breathing abit heavy. We stayed there for awhile, until we started to talk about my feelings and about kaito agn. I felt really upset. That tme. I actually cried. I cried so hardly. Just knowing that someone that I loved so much is not mine anymore. I die alittle bit inside. He said would I like to cry on his shoulder, I tot lying down crying makes me look retarded and very stupid…so I got up. And I cried………..crying out all my sorrows and all the pain. I can feel him pressing me into him. Not very hard, but I can still feel it. I was just so upset I don’t know what was in my mind, kept on crying and crying and crying for the next 8 mins. He kept bending down to look at my face, but I really don’t want him to see my face whn im upset. Because, only dad and Kaito are the ones that im comftable to show my actual crying face to. I wiped my tears and still looking down. When I was about to cry once more. He touched my cheek. And go “obuubuu” or something like that. To make me laff ofcourse. And as usual, it worked perfectly. I laffed then I wanted to cry again. He kept on doing it until I was actually really feeling abit happy. Im so glad that he came this morning. He just seems like he knows how upsetting I am and he understands when I say im fine when im not. He knows that I am still not fine. I got on his skate board. I played with it. (only stand on it ofcourse) and then he was like here I will teach you, I was like hell no! I was scared. He hued me on my waist and pulled me along . it was fun. I was about to tell him that kaito did this to me too, but i think i should not because during the whole time that he was talking to me, i mention about Kaito every 2 mins. Thank you Yik for actually being there and come to my school to comfort me when i was very upset. Thank you
No comments:
Post a Comment