My love

Replayin the song every by GReeeeN again and again.

Feelin abit of a love sick atm. Got more new cloths today. I love my mum, because..i jst remember when i was a kid, well...when i was at Malaysia...every each time she came back from aus. she would always buy a big laugage of cloths for me. A really really big laguage. and when shes dividing gifts. i always gets the mostt. and all the cloths. Today, well. since i went to shopping with her. I felt soo happy. because i get new cloths again..its been awhile since mum bought me cloths that i like to wear...about 3 years? ahah, but yeahh. I jst soo happy that mum bought me cloths again.

My sister is giving birth 2mrw. Shes going to b goin to the hospital at about 6.45 i think. Im pretty sure shes really nevourse, although she putts on tat smily faceee. Everyone would b scared...im scared of having children's. But, someone in this world. Made me change my mind. It wouldnt be that bad to have a child...atleast it wont b if you had it with the one you love. and i love that guy, deeply.


Today, i just notice that..his the very first guy that i had done soo much first time with..and pretty much seen me in alot of diffrent me....
-The me when i have no ear pierce
-The me when i still kinda have a bob hair
-His the first guy to be in a relationship with me when im growing my hair out for the first time.
-First guy i ever went to the beach with.
-First boyfriend that i introduce to my mum/sister/sister in law.
-First Jap bf.
-First guy that im willing to risk anything even i would get into trouble.
-First guy that......introduces me to his friends without geting shame for who he dates.
-First guy that makes me feel so much in secure and protected.
-First guy that buys me EVERYTHING that the world has.

expecially....very first guy that ever loved me soo much for whom i am, and not asking me to change a single thing. and the guy that i would want to spent my lifetime with.


I actually wished tat i could of see Kaito today. Without seeing him today. Alot came into my mind..i miss himm, but i was coping well with it. Its like. I knew he would be there, feels like he lives in my heart....i know its weird to say. But, it kinda really felt that way. From now, i want to prove my love for him. Instead of jst saying it. cuz i have been jst sayin it for awhile, i should try harder. not to change anything. jst...atleast keep his smilee protected.

I am going to try and find a job, and try really hard on my subjects again. Its going to b hard....But i jst want my mum to b happy for my reports, and i dont need to ask for money from her. and i can earn money to buy a lil something for my babyy. Because i feel bad, because its always him thats doing the buying and payin. I promise, one day. I'll earn alot of money and then i will buy him lunches, presents and we might can go to visit other countries together too :D WEEEEEEEEEEE this is only the begining of Our Storyyyy