http://nothinglastlongerthanforever.blogspot.com/

Does it even bother you.

In two days. It will be our first year anniversary. Wounder if does it even bother you us not being together anymore.

had dinner and chapel. Cry it out actualy feels much btr. But im not completely healed.
Time will try heal me up. Atleast i hope, it will.

In library, having a really stress week. Just done Law and Politic Test, now. I just done feel like anything. At all. until Im calm.

People change. Feelings change.

Time will pass and you will move on.

I do believe that. 

But the thing that hurt me the most, is the fact that you broke my heart.
Its so broken that I can't even feel a thing.

I can cry about it and its okay.
Because I'm used to it.
I've been this way before.

I spent 15 months living out a lie and I was blindfolded.
You used me for a purpose.
You used me to forget all those bitter feelings you had.
Because you were lonely and needed someone to get your mind off her.
You knew I fell hard.
And you took advantage of that.
You mis-used me.
You knew very well that it was impossible for you to be with her and thats why you picked me, as a solution.

You lied and lied.

We could have just been friends, but you insisted the opposite.
Insisted hard.
And knowing that you were thinking of her, the whole time you were with me,
has deeply cut me.
You have no idea.
You don't know me.

What are words, if you don't mean them?

I've heard enough lies from guys.
I am not the best. 

I know that she will always place first in your heart no matter how hard you deny it.
I'm just right under her.
I'm always the second option.

Sometimes, in life, you have to learn to let go.

Your a good guy. You really are.
I am sure that there is someone out there meant for you.
Unfortunately, that person is not me.
And I am no longer yours.

I won't deny the fact that I still have feelings for you, but even though I still do.

I hate you. I really really do.
You make me sick.

You talk to me with words.

I look at you, with feelings.

Maybe one day, I will forgive you.

But in the meantime, I need my own personal space.

Who knows, one day we will meet again.
If not, its just not meant to be.

- S -

I think its time to change my blog. Creating a new one. Good bye past. I shall always remember you </3

Typical Tuesday

so, there is like 8 more mins until Recess, im so so bored. Well exciting thing was that facebook was unblock, hahah. Lu was like hit me at the elbow and showed me her laptop n i was like fcuk shoot! and then everyone started to get a laptop and start using facebook, LOL Funny story.

My fever and sore throat and stuff are getting better, now i just need somemore rest i gues? because i have been trurining sleepy and getting realy tired really easily. Been coffin all day but that is normal.

Now stupid sarah is sitting next to me and bloggin ahahha that crazy woman. We are having a relife teacher. Cuz Mrs Polain is away and then we get to use the laptops for free study period. soo, we just like surf on the net randomly for the whole period and then after wards, facebook was unblocked then i cchanged ma dp on facebook to me and ma brother. Jun

In 3 mins its going to be Recess, and i got a email from the Health Centre, because i forgot to eat my Anti Biotic this morning, opppcy. My bad. But srsly, i ate more than 30 pills this weekend untill today. its jst so sickning and ugly and discusting.

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SOCCER WAS AMAZING! 6-1 !! to phenros. really proud and happy.
I actually tot they would be hell buff and tuff and stuff. but-- they were really wingy. plus they go "ouchhhh" in a really girly + bitchy way. Its just like wtf. Calm the freak down, its soccer, what you expect? Painting Nails? girls these days ==
But its really intertaining how they all just keep tripping and fallling and when they miss the ball dou. saw some pretty sick falling. LOL, still cant get over it. Its just so Hilariouse. Compair to the basketball team i had in year 8? Year 8 team was much much btr :] This soccer, was just CRAB i can say.
But atleast we won dou, end at a good point.
Lifes getting better. Im glad, Days do get better, and you do get better as each day.

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Sarah came in. she cried. Shes hurted, really and deeply hurted i can see from her. She dont deserve that. expecially..om her birthday. I dont get, why do we cry for boys. i really dont. Im over with that and i dont see the point of crying for a person that you felt hurted and they dont get you. Its such a waste. All i can say now is, Im glad i have moved on. And i hope Sarah could go thru the same thing as well. It wont be easy. But, if you delete him from facebook. It would be abit easier for you. so you wouldnt see him online and it just hurts you when he dsnt talk to you and then when you see him talking to other girls? Those are all just CRABs i tell ya. Delete him, helps you stop stalking his page to. Since he dsnt wna talk back and you tried. Just disapear the fuck off.
Your done with this Chapter, its time for you to go on and open your eyes and look into life. You dont actually have THAT much of time to live anyways. because life is short. The most Chapters that you could write is about 8 full Chapters. because, each of thoes chapters will be your long and lasting ones. It took you 16 years to finally finish One Chapter. you have wrote so much, now you learnt and got stronger , what to do and not to do. What things are deserve to be in your Chapter and What arent. and when you get to the very Last Chapter. Trust me, it will be your Best Chapter. Because you have been like a normal person, went out there and experience what other might have and not have. If your brave and not affraid to fall. Try everything. No harm falling down, just get right back up again :] Life is hard no shit, and CRAB happens. shouldnt let those things let you down dou.

Live to learn how to live.

All i ask is for you to miss me. Thats it. That would be enough, as long as you still miss me ❤

❤ My STORY❤ you ready?.,@,1>#?! I love you ;]

So, i went to the scales and i lost 2kg from being sick. Prim said i lost weight too. But im pretty sure im gna gain it back pretty soon, because i was just sick tat time and now im getting better each day :) ill be fine ❤

So me and Holly (my bestest roomate + best friend0 are going to do workouts and get ready for Summer :]

Cant wait till this Saturday, but i got to go back home first because i got alot of things to do at home. i need to clean my room up before mum comes so she would not need to clean it up cuz she said she will clean it up when she come back because she has no time to do it last time because sis was still in there and the time was too limited. and sis took all my things out larh, so i was really piss so i didnt to any cleaning at all.....but i gues i have to on friday, plus i need to go back and get more coins. $10 for international call and then another $5 for transperth just incase, because i have finished my money that i was supose to save until mum comes. but pretty obviouse i did not. so i need to go back and i really need to top up $10 for international call really badly because mum have been trying to call me lately and its really hard to contact her back, but it would be easier if i get the international call, cheaper and easier to get to mum when im missing her during the 2 week. Plus, the closer it gets for her to come over here the more she woulf call me, because need to keep in touch about what to bring and what i wast from home and how am i going here larhh. ❤ Mummy, i love you :*

But other than that, this saturday is going to be my best day, because it is my best friend SARAH ANNE CHOA's birthdday :] That presiousee :* i love her, so so much. She gets on my nerve. i just wna slap her right in her face and tackel her :P she just soo cute. i love her :] i was joking the part although i really want to TACKEL you dou! resel you down bruuu ❤ text me if you saw this ;] wink wink babyy. Happy birthday for 2mrw, you know i love you and always love you, stay strong and keep it up. Your amazing who you are. Dont let anyone ever let you down baby gurl. Best Friends are all you needed. Prim, Jo, Holly, Joyce and Vanessa is always here for ya dawgg :*
And BABE! dont forget, during your partyy ;] Gooo, its Pizza timee gurlls ;] and then D&M timee Gurls ;} muahahah. its going to be amazing. Happy SWEAT 16 gurll :* ❤ last day of 15 Say ByeBye to it ;]

Photo's ;]
Was really really Hyper today, i think it is still from the Pepsi from yesterday :s but ohh well, i love life ❤

Library ft Holly right now ❤



Thank you Buddha for not giving more than what i can handle.
I really appreciate it. Hope you do the same for the that need it as well.
Hoping his everyday is alright. I love you.

When i was blogging.

wow, didnt write my blog for a few days :P i really wanted to write it, but i was too sick...very sick actually. got a high fever and all that crab. But thank Buddha that while i was having the high fever thing. Prim was sleeping over in my room. i couldnt move at all, i was just in pain everywhere. She helped me alot that night. Gawd, i was just in so much pain. and then...on Sunday, i was just really really upset and like hear after getting off the phone with Mama, i miss her even more and i just wish i could stay with mummy and talk to her on the phone 24/7. Jun called me. he had no idea what was going on, at that time i was just so upset. everything was just so much to me. I miss Kaito, homesick, and having the worse fever ever and having a really sore throat and every where just ached so much. so when Jun called, i was abit calmed atleast for 30 sec..he asked me was i sick and then i said yup, but im fine.....and then i just started to mumble words and started crying.
His just so caring? he was worried and insist to call his brother and ask him to sign me out and go to his house because im sick and upset. But it would of been awkward dou. Because i do not know his brother and i only meet Jun once, which is on my birthday. He was the first guy i saw on my birthday c: AND!! i cant believe that SOPHIE BULT miss understood that he is my boyfriend. because he was walking me back to the school. and gave me a hug before he left, so i dont know which part that she saw :I


During the craby weekend, all i did was ly in bed and slept whole weekend and i missed out on social and Paint-ball that son of a bit**h :I but ohh well im glad i rested dou. because i legit feel like i was going to pass out.
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Sooo just came back from seeing the Doctor, if i recall, it was Dr P ?? He freaking freaked me out, because the only thing i could see in his office was needle's. so when he came in, i skiped the how are you part and ask "i dont need to get a needle do i??!?!" and he was likee " ohhh, we gotta see about that" and his face was freaking seriouse so i fell for it, was so freaked out!!! and then he told me that he was joking, sooo phewww. Im glad :)

But a cool thing that i saw in the Clinic was this dad, he seems young but, his daugther is such a spoil brat i just wna slap her right in the face. She need to learn some manners and be nice to her parent and appriciate while she has him that stupid brat. But he was a cool daddy doy. He was wearing a cool pants and then was wearing a DC shoess :D i want a daddy like that, but i still love mineee :D i love you my daddy! FOREVER!! ❤❤
Dont think i was supose to drink that :s Opps.
heehee❤Pepsi

Okay, got back from dinner, got in trouble by Mrs B cuz she saw Pepsi on my table -- damn it.

What i feel right now.

Glad knowing that you have another partner now. so fast...now im totally over you...cant believe you found another person and im replaced...so easily. But im glad for you. I wont think back to thoes days any more. Wish you all the best. bye.

OMB.

Its been awhile since i have felt so sick. I really didnt wanted to eat Panadol...i hate it so much u know? so..they gave me the liquid one. Remind me of my mummy when they gave it to me.
Cuz my mum know me the best, know that i hate medicen and only med i eat is liquid ones.

My face is still soo burning u know? its like the temp is so high...i spented my last 2 period in the Health Centre. and i think i did crab in my math assesment, because i was having a really bad headech and i really couldnt think anything at all. i dont even think i finished the test...Im sorry mum...for getting a crab mark.....

Just then went to toilet, saw my face...its so pink. and my throat hurts larh. so painful......and my head just hurt like hell.like its about to explode.

I HATE BEING SICK. and i want cookie and cream ice cream to chill my temp down......... ;( ;( ;( :I :) :) :) i should smile more, so Buddha can see im a good girl, and i have been trying really hard and making think whats right for me, and maybe, he will let me get well soon. :) Buddha, Amituofo（阿尼托佛）保佑我朋友， 让他们每一天开开心心的度过他们每一天的生活。我爱她们。


神山海人， 你在干嘛呢？ 我，有一点好像知道你过得镇么样。我好想知道你过得很好。 我在这每一天好努力的过生活。我的每一天过得好痛苦。可是，我觉得，这是最好的结果了。 因为，我们两个都看清楚了，我们是。每有结果的两个人， 我们的过去，是我又过最美好的回忆，我希望能保持到永远的和你在一起。快乐的一起， 活到老❤ 我好爱你啊！放你走让你过得更快乐， 是我爱你的方式。对不起，我没能给到你所想要的一切，可是，我感受到了你的爱。 我不懂得珍惜到我失去的那一刻。
祝福你， 下一个走入你的认生的人，我希望她能带你比我给的快乐和幸福多。我在说最后一边，我爱你。你永远会是我的排行榜第一。 ❤ 我的爱，在这里结束。 希望你也会记得我。

G'Day

Pcuk! i got hacked :P By Sarah Anne CHAO. but its okay la, i hack her acc most of the time wat. so tis ok :P heehee, i deserve it. but yeah. guys, have you notice. i normaly write my blog right before the internet in the boarding house dies. But yeahh, its my daily routine :) ❤

Soccer today was AMAZING! won IONA :D 3-0Pcuk yea! im soo happy! and, i learnt alot in soccer today, my coach (tom, who plays for Perth glory, number 6 hell yeah!) he taughted me alot :) ❤ so happy and so proud of having him as a coach ❤
Today is our 2nd last game, our last game will b with Phenros. Today was the best game that we ever play. Enjoyed it very much and felt really happy :) Thanks Buddha for being gentle to me today, and i wish prim gets better ❤

Skyping with stupid Vale? :P and his niece ❤ looks cute i rekon?

Hehe hi guys. :)
I'm in law and politics right noow.
I'm sitting next to Sarah CHOAAA. :P

I love her so much. :P She's so pretty.

So many things that i want to talk about. :)

Okay, theres so many things, i just dont know where to start from :)

I'll just list them out and then write them down :)

Prim my best Friend ❤ she finally woke up from her potion and see what is right for herself. And i wish she could be strong and not look back. I know how it feels, because. I have been looking back, but i know that is not what i want. Its pain, but still....i cry and then just get over it. Because i was born with this chapter and was supose to go thru this chapter in my life. And at the end, i will still end up with the path way where im supose to be at :) I wish herr stay strong and stick to what she had mad a choice of. I'm so proud of her :) no jokes ❤ i love you PrimBITCHa, stay strong my bestie ❤

Sarah ❤
OMG, that annoying crab! i swea, me and Jo are going to kick her in the ass pretty soon. "Are you sure? Are you sure?" "How many percent aa??" "NO! you cant have 100%, what if you were wrong!?!?" OMB, KMN. but still, we still love her no matter how annoying she is. We might fight sometimes and argue. But i mean like, thats what real friends are, if they dont argue and fight. I dont think you guys are close then, or even concidered as close friends, LOL.

Joanna❤
She helped me to do my hair today, during prep break :D it looks pretty awsomee, ahahha. i wanted to brade my whole hair, but it took a long time and prep break was over so we had to leave each other ;( But yeah, got half bottom of my hair done, hahaha. gna go to school like that 2mrw. But you know what? CRAB, i left my P.E bag near Maths Department, cuz like 2nd last period, had Soccer Photo, so i needed to get change into my sport gear. and i left my bag there -.- how smart ei.. but yeah, got my photo done :) heehee ❤ But 2 more games and Soccer is over, im abit devo. But i mean like, i will still be practicing for soccer and then for sure! im doing soccer next year again!!!! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE❤

Holly❤ my Roomiee :*
She taughted me something really amazing today. Making necklast or like breaclets from like Daisy :D the flower. While we were on the way to Coles :) stand there picking Daisy's and macking necklast ❤

Photo's from today ❤

Tonight dinner was my fav :) STEAK ❤ On nom nommmmmm~
But yeah :) Sarah's mum came over to dinner, shes so nice, she reminds me of Aunty Tao :) Jordan's mother. hahah. ❤ I miss home, and my mummy ofcourse. I notice that i havnt really actually spent quality time with mum after since i got a boyfriend. i feel so bad and everytime she come over to see me, all that is in my mind was just thinking about go out and see Kaito Kaito Kaito and everything thinking about Kaito....I should of known better. Because mum dnt come often and shes geting old now. The way that my Dad always say that we not going to have much time together and time is ticking away scares me so much, u know? I just love my parents alot la, no matter how much i complain and say i hate life and dont like them. But in real life, i actually love them more than anything. I loved Kaito as much as i loved my parents. At least i got on the phone with mum today, at night. She called me when i had a meeting, but i couldnt awnser, plus i didnt saw her calling. So afterwards when i saw, i asked Ricky to call my mum and tell her that sorry for the miss call and can she please call back, but Ricky dsnt feel quite comftable talking to mum, maybe scared that mum might missunderstand or something. so he help me to call Jacky instead. but hopefully, Jacky (my 2nd brother) did not missunderstand either, because out of the blue's that Ricky call him and tell him that your sister wants to talk to her mum. LOL, but yeah. but Ricky seems to be very close to my brother larh. Everytime just mention about him. I know that his cousin is my sister-in-law. But like, he just seems so close to Jacky. Remeber at the start of this year my brother's open house. Saw him there, he still looks the same. I sometime gets annoyed by him dou, whenever i had a about guy or emo status on, he just inbox's me, hey why so emo and stuff. i get that his being nice. But sometimes i just dont feel like talking about it and he should understand when i say i dont wna talk about it, he sould just go like okay, instead of ok==. It makes me feel upset.


Anyways


Mum called and im so happy. I like it when she calls even when shes hell bz. I love how she ask me everythings alright right? nothing wrong? It makes me feels secure i gues? and cared la.
I use to be like i dont need mum beside me and im Independent.
But, the fact is, there is times that i need my mum, and having days that i just want to be like a little baby and crawl back to mummy's arms.


I miss her so much....soo soo much..
Its just 3 more weeks Celine, cmon. Your strong enuf to keep the work up for the next 3 weeks.
Gawd, i want to talk to mum on the phone for 24/7. Mummmmmm..............i really miss you. when you come. Im going to hug you so long and never let go.


-❤->

Night-Mare.

Dreamt that we were going out for dinner. i got drunk, i dont know why. You got mad. Left me there alone and left the car with me and you walked away....But wearing my glasses. It was dark too. I was freezing and feeling scared. you didnt even looked back, what you did is walk away at me.

Just got up + havnt straighten my hair since a month ago.

Since after camp. Dont really straighten my hair anymore. i just leave it this way. Either dont have time or i cant be bothered.

Law and Politics.

Law and Politic, in a week of time. i will have a assesment on it. Gawd. i really wna ace this test.

Before School ft Prim❤

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------This arvo -
Tumy look like got bitten by a Vampire.

Yik is so bad at advising me stuff. I tot Kaito was bad. But he proves me wrong. haahaa. I miss Kaito. Its been hard, it was meant to be hard. Proves that i was actually in love maybe? Yeah i was......

Atleast im not having scary night mare's anymore. but, having to see him and feeling him, getting so close in my dreams feels kinda good. I wounder if he was having the same dream too. i want to be that close to him every day, night, hour, mins....

Damn, im starting to miss him so much atm...i want to cry it all out! Listening to Bleed by Hot Chelle Rae, probably is not a good idea.. I have been running away from problerms alot. Now i got face them and i have no experiences of facing them before, and i dont feel that im ready to face it just right yet. I still wna b my mummy's baby, tuck back into my mum's arm, and just sleep. Last night. I just couldnt sleep at all. I went to Prims room to sleep. because i really really miss Kaito. I stalked his page. Although i have deleted him from my facebook...i still could log into Pie's acc to stalk him, cuz pie lets me ❤ Thanks pie. But still..i deleted him because i want it to be easier for both of us. I know its abit over for deleting him,and like. i still wna be friends? But, its just, probably not just quite the right time yet. When im at home, i see him online. I just wna go on his page and check on him and talk to him. He dsnt reply me ofcourse. Not ready yet? mhmm, probz...dont want him to feel presured. so i thought of it for along time, then i decided to delete him so it wud of been btr and we both will have times and i would slowly forget him. Because i know his a type of guy that every girl wants. I believe, somewhere out there, there is someone perfect for him. It hurts, giving him away. But, i love him, and im sure he loves me. We both want each other to be happy and live a great life ❤ damn...Buddha. i really miss him right now la. So stupid..............all the promises and memory we had. Fcuk fcuk!!!! Feeling so painful atm..I need a hug..i want a hug..i want my mum..i want daddy. I just want to cry on the phone to someone and complain about how much pain am i feeling right now! I M I S S Y O U, wounder could the star send him the msg and tell him that i really really really misses him soo much! Im going nuts.

My hearts crack is getting bigger and bigger each time. I miss you......The distance is what its killin me....its so far away... I want to get a laser and delete that part of my memory with you, because its just so painful to be think bad....Feeling really painfull..............

Fcuk u tears. Pcuk u........im dieing slowly. Someone hear my Silence Scream please. I really cant take it no more.

I dont know what should i do with my life.

Me eating my Noodle ❤ and decorating the room with Hollster'z and Bloggin c:

Kinda want a boyfriend, but kinda dont. I know im not ready yet. Because although i dont show it. Im still deeply loving my bambu. Things didnt work out for us, dsnt mean that i stoped loving him. In me, his still like what i usually would say to him. The bestest thing i ever had in my life.
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God, i thnk i found my next obbses song :) holly just played it on her laptop. OPpppppppPPPpPPsyyy ❤

❤ Damn i really like this song :D dont think i will get over this song until awhile ❤ Its really cute.

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Life Without him

Its not easy, i miss him everynight c: hugs Domo to bed and silly and the new little member, hmmmm, hvnt found a name for it yet :s oppcy. Ill think about it :) Shedrick it shall be ❤

But yeah, lets get back on the topic. I just found out that i get carried away really easily. . . .

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Talking to Yik, kor kor c:

You know? im so happy for him, because he had found his target :) only if i was ready to open my eyes and actually see others dou. But even dou i am ready right now, i bet its just going to be the despriate eyes on. Instead of actually waiting and see the right guy :) Im happy for my brother Yik ❤⊂((・⊥・))⊃★♡ Wish him all the best ❤

Just love, no hate ❤
That how you Roll in Life

My Dear Dear Deadly Sunday.

Today happened alot, i wanted to write it all down. But its jst seem like the feeling is gone and what i wanted to write down about my feeling is already gone.

From 2mrw onwards. Me and Prim is going to go on Diet, Because of a few resons :) Sis called today❤ WEEEE ❤ so happy, talked to mum and her about 7 mins i think? They were realy bz :( Sis wished me a happy birthday, althought its abit late but im fine with it, as long as she remembered it :) and getting to hear mummy's voice was all i wanted the most. Feel so much better and stronger after listening to mum's voice. Harhhhhh~ that revive feeling that you have after letting go of the Breath that you had been holding on for so long. Im finally moving on, suprisingly, but yes. Im actually moving on. I can live. I still have a smile on my face dont i? i survived :) and each day, i grow more inside and turning into something that no one could see. because its a inside thing :)

Prim letted me had a really good day today. She made me understand that. I dont need a guy to survive. I CAN be happy although if i dont have a boyfriend. Yes, it would be abit lonely. But, why do i need a boyfriend when i have good friends like Sarah, Joanna & my lovely "boyfriend" Prim?? They are so funny and crazy.
They thought me alot of things that i never had understand and slowly. They are showing the Celine that i use to be when i was back then in Malaysia. Although Rebel, but i still care for people and i stand for peoples right. Back then, i stand up for any people that gets bully. But here. I saw. I changed alot. so much that i never even notice its such a bad turn.

Celine ❤ Prim "boyfriend"

That was the love heart that i made. Its for the "right guy". This time, i wont easily give out my heart, as what i had done before. Im going to wait. Even for 3 years, 30 years. ill wait till the right one. Because i know, no matter path way im taking right now. At the end, i will still end up be on the right track, because i was born ending on that path way. ❤

Today, Sarah my best friend. fell off to the grown because of me :s She was chasin me larh, and then the floor was so slippeery. so she slipped and did a pretty awsome BreakDance style which i missed cuz i was too bz running away from that crazy women :I But i DO wish she feel better dou. Hope shes not physicaly hurt. Her hand was bleeding abit. My heart hurted seeing her hand bleeding. Just wna protect her.

Hope Sarah Anne CHAO gets better ❤ Buddha, be by her side :*

BOOOOOO ❤

THANKS FOR BROWSING, that was my Weekend ❤ c: ❤
Hope you sleep well ❤